Attitude of Gratitude

I recently watched a dvd called "The Secret." The message in it was very zen-uekelale ish, but I did take something from it that I really liked and that was the idea of waking up with an attitude of gratitude. After I typed that, I realized that it rhymed and is quite catchy. "Attitude of Gratitude" brought to you by Marlizzle. Never one to preach without practice, I'm going to make a small daily list on this blog of the things that I'm grateful for.

1. I'm grateful for the sweet taste of refrigerated left-over birthday cake. Not grateful for the calories. Hmm...this was is a trade-off, and it appears that cakes fall in the realm of the in-between.
2. I'm grateful that my son is so easily pleased with peanut butter and jelly.
3. I'm grateful for "Shrek 2" because otherwise I would not have the time to update this blog.
4. I'm grateful for the comic relief of Thursday night. Drinking+dancing+2 girls who met in anger management class=one of the most enjoyable times I've had in a while.
5. I'm grateful that I'm alive and healthy and surrounded by the people that I love.

"It's my life, and it's now or never."

My mantra. I always refuse to give up or give in, so I live in shifting worlds of anger, frustration, determination, and hopefully happiness. Why do people have to suck, though? Somtimes I wonder if I'm paying for the ills that I've caused towards others, but, god, those are truly far and in between. And I felt HORRIBLE. One would think that the stress and sadness that I experienced in my less than glory moments would've been enough penance, but no, of course not because then that would make my life un-complicated. I don't think that my life is meant to be un-complicated. Irony? You want to hear it? I've been trying to surround myself with people that I truly percieved (under a mf'in microscope, too) to be decent and respectable, but they still let me down. I only ask for one thing in all my relationships: honesty. Is honesty on a list of hard things to do somewhere? I always believed that it was just easier to be up front and direct with people; apparently, it is not a sentiment that is widely shared. So I'm back to my mantra.....

"This aint a song for the broken-hearted...I aint going to just be a face in the crowd. You're going to hear my voice when I shout it out loud. It's my life and it's now or never..."

"Great Potential" that Went Nowhere...

It's 2:27 am and I'm trying to bore myself to sleep...

I'm frustrated. People confuse the hell out of me.

To elaborate...
I went on two great dates with a (seemingly) great guy and we had a third in the works and nothing. That last part is not a tipo. Two dates+one in the works=nothing.

A description of date one so that you guys don't think that I'm delusional. We had sushi and went bowling. Sushi+bowling=great fun! The dinner was very enjoyable. The conversation was flowing, lots of toasts to "meeting new people," sitting side-by-side, and I thought to myself, "Hey, this online thing isn't so bad. This guy is nice." Big. Happy. Face. And then the bowling was even better. Playfully we challenged one another. When he would get a strike, he would jokingly pat my shoes to make sure the laces were tied. He asked me questions like, "Hey, teacher, what kind of bowling advice would you give to a mere mortal," and I'd say, "That's easy. The key is to aim your bowling ball towards the alley, and watch as it bounces out to hit a strike." Awwwww. We were so cute. The evening ended and he asked me what my days off were. SCORE! Or so I thought.

Date two... to be continued. I have to sleep. :)