A CL phone conversation.

"So what did you do today?"
"Worked. You?"
"Oh, I did something really exciting! I signed up for martial arts. I'm really excited, but a little nervous too."
"Nervous? Why?"
"Well, you know... It's a contact sport. Actually kinda combative and violent. I'm not really used to that sort of thing."
"Girls and martial arts is hoooooottt."
"Ummm. Ok. I never really thought of it that way, but ok." He sounds kinda pervy...
"Do you know what I think is one of the hottest things around?"
"Uhhhh. No" WTF is he leading to?
"A girl headlocking a guy with her thighs. In a scissor lock. I would die happily that way."
WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
"Ok." This shit is getting weird now.
"Yeah. One of my friends was into mixed martial arts, so I went onto 'You Tube' and looked for videos on that kind of stuff. I ended up finding one with MMA women fighting. It was so hot. They were getting each other into scissor locks and stuff like that. And I'm not the only guy who found it hot. There were like 30,000 hits."

NEXT.

Kjerste is mean. Really, really, REALLY, mean. I'm posting again because I feel majorly peer pressured. :(

So. This is the first of a series of posts chronicling my adventures of online dating. And not just any online dating folks, Craigslist online dating. This experience has the potential to be weird, uncomfortable, gross, humorous, shocked, and hopefully, eventually great.



I figured what the hey, if I can find a great laptop (even though it fell off the arm of my couch and broke. That, of course, was not the seller's fault) and a great lawnmower, I should be able to find a great mate. Let the dating adventures begin.

Before I begin to regale you with tales of my mishaps, I will give you a laundry list of the qualities I'm looking for in a mate. My sister says that I should stop "over-analyzing" everything and that my list is not practical. To that I say: I'm not looking for an easy piece of ass. I'm looking for a husband and an eventual stepfather for my little boy. I'm analyzing erthing and with a microscope, too.

And, now, without further ado. The LIST.
1. Honest
2. Intelligent
3. Funny
4. Spontaneous
5. Adventurous. This one ties into spontaneous.
I don't want: "Hey, I know it's 11 o'clock, and this is kinda out of the blue, but we should totally go to MacDonald's and get a Mcflurry." I do want: "Hey, I know this is kinda out of the blue, but we should totally drive up into the mountains, find an isolated swimming hole, and go skinny dipping!"
6. Attractive, but not too attractive. I would rather not have to worry about every female within a five mile radius lusting over my man.
7. Athletic. And, no, a guy is not an athlete if he's great at watching sports on t.v.
8. Tall. I know this is nit picking, but I need the height. Men under 5'10" need not apply.

**He must love kids. This one is not even ranked because it is non-negotiable. Pierce and I are a package deal.

Ok, that's enough for now. Stay tuned for M's (mis) adventures in CL dating.